For us to be fully human, the Child Within must be embraced and expressed.
Unless we connect with our Inner Child state in a safe setting, the Child Within will remain isolated and alone.
Unless we reclaim our childlike feelings, sensitivity, wonderment and aliveness, our Inner Child will remain wounded.
Unless we do this now, we will find it so difficult to feel WHOLE.
People with persistent problems such as addiction, depression, troubled
relationships and chronic dissatisfaction can transform their lives with Inner
Child Work and find a new joy and energy in living.
We’re made up of many parts and inside we still have the little child and adolescent we were with all its experiences and feelings.
This can lead to this Inner Child / adolescent part of us reacting strongly to certain experiences and situations and the feelings we’re having in the present can be the feelings of this little child / adolescent from the past.
When we are being playful, spontaneous, creative, intuitive and surrendering to the spiritual self, our Genuine Authentic Self, who we know deep within us, our Real Self is being welcomed and encouraged to be present.
We all have an inner child and the wounds our inner child received can and do continue to contaminate our adult lives. Our parents helped create this Inner Child part of us, society also helped with the creation.
When this child self is not allowed to be heard or even acknowledged as
being real, a false or co-dependent self emerges. We begin to live our lives
The build up of unfinished mental and emotional business can lead to and
fuel chronic anxiety, fear, confusion, emptiness and unhappiness through all
of our life.
Denial of the Inner Child and the co-dependent self are particularly common among children and adults who grew up in troubled or dysfunctional families.
This is where chronic physical mental illness, rigidity, frigidity or lack
of nurturing is common.
Through guidance, understanding and love we can learn to know how to form healthy and loving relationships and to love ourselves.
Examples of some of the parts of the Child you might find inside are:
The Abandoned Child
This child part that has been left in some way through divorce or adoption
or just left because the parents were kept busy working. This part is
always fearful that it will be abandoned again and again. This part of the
self is starving for extra attention and reassurance that it is safe and
The Neglected Child
The child self that was always left alone without much nurturing and love.
The Playful Child
That self that is naturally playful, creative, spontaneous and fun, the loving child. This part longs to play. Many of us have forgotten how to do this and be free without guilt or anxiety because as adults we must be doing something that is `worthwhile`.
The Spoiled Child
That part of us who wants what it wants and it wants it now, and if it doesn’t get what it wants, it throws a temper tantrum.
The Fearful Child
This part has been overly criticised when young. Now it is anxious and in panic much of the time. It needs lots of encouragement and positive affirmations.
The Disconnected Child
This Inner Child part which never learns to be close to anyone. It is isolated and dissociated. Intimacy feels alien and scary. Trust is a basic issue.
The Discounted Child
This is a part of the self that was ignored and treated as though it did
not exist. It feels invisible. It doesn’t believe in itself and needs lots
of love to assist and support it.
These are all possibilities of the different Inner Child parts that might be inside us and they need support which will allow us to embark on a journey of profound healing.
NOW is the best time to do it.
We each have many different sides: the grown-up side, the professional side, the childlike side. However, the way we feel emotionally doesn't change. The frustration we felt as a two year old is the same frustration we feel at forty-- we just cover it up and express it differently. We may sink into feelings of hopelessness, overeat, drink too much or lash out at loved ones.
Your inner child hauls around a red wagon full of memories of every hurt, frustration, and pain you've ever experienced. He or she doesn't understand the incidents and doesn't know that time has passed; they just know they still hurt.
As adults, we tend to rely on rational thought to control these painful memories and emotions. However, emotions are far more powerful than logic.
The more we deny them, the stronger they get. If you try to suppress them, your inner brat will just yell louder.
Kids "act out" in two basic ways: they scream until they get attention or they withdraw and wait for help. Which is your style?
Do you suddenly have outbursts of rage? Or do you lapse into depression?
These may be signals that something needs attending to.
Find a picture of yourself, before the age of five. Carry it with you, get to know yourself at that age again. This is your inner child.
This is essentially who you still are, emotionally-speaking.
Learn to be a good parent to this child of yours. Pay attention to what they are telling you and allow them to express their needs.
Don't automatically tell your child to "be quiet" (suppressing your feelings);
don't just give in to their demands that they taken care of right this minute, either (letting your emotions control you).
Next time you find yourself "acting out", listen to what's going on inside of you, what your child is demanding.
Start teaching your child (yourself) to express those feelings more appropriately and to wait for the time when that can be done so.
A child must be taught that delayed gratification doesn't mean "never."
If there's something your inner child wants (and they want it now), patiently tell them they will get it eventually.
When your inner child is demanding attention, literally say to yourself, "I know you're hurting. I have something else to attend to now, but I will deal with you in just a little while."
This sends a message that you aren't ignoring them, but that the adult is in charge. Just like a good parent.
Remember too, that your inner child is not always a problem child -- he or she is your source of playfulness, too. The more you comfort, nurture and allow this childlike part of yourself to come out and play, the more healthy self-love and self-esteem you'll experience
MEDITATION FOR LOVING AND HEALING THE INNER CHILD
This meditation needs time and quiet to be done properly, you can have a
friend talk you through this or tape it for yourself to do alone.