Inner Child
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For us to be fully human, the Child Within must be embraced and expressed. 

Unless we connect with our Inner Child state in a safe setting, the Child Within will remain isolated and alone.

Unless we reclaim our childlike feelings, sensitivity, wonderment and aliveness, our Inner Child will remain wounded.

Unless we do this now, we will find it so difficult to feel WHOLE.

People with persistent problems such as addiction, depression, troubled relationships and chronic dissatisfaction can transform their lives with Inner Child Work and find a new joy and energy in living. 
The source of their problems can be in past events which get triggered in the present.

 We’re made up of many parts and inside we still have the little child and adolescent we were with all its experiences and feelings.

This can lead to this Inner Child / adolescent part of us reacting strongly to certain experiences and situations and the feelings we’re having in the present can be the feelings of this little child / adolescent from the past.


Carl Jung called it the "Divine Child" and Emmet Fox called it the "Wonder Child." Some psychotherapists call it the “True Self” and Charles Whitfield called it the “Child Within”. 


The Inner Child refers to that part of each of us which is ultimately alive, 


The Inner Child is the emotional self. It is where our feelings live. When we experience joy, sadness, anger, fear, or affection our Child Within is coming out.

 When we are being playful, spontaneous, creative, intuitive and surrendering to the spiritual self, our Genuine Authentic Self, who we know deep within us, our Real Self is being welcomed and encouraged to be present.

We all have an inner child and the wounds our inner child received can and do continue to contaminate our adult lives. Our parents helped create this Inner Child part of us, society also helped with the creation.

When this child self is not allowed to be heard or even acknowledged as being real, a false or co-dependent self emerges. We begin to live our lives as victims. 
Then we have situations that arise in our lives which develop into unresolved emotional traumas.

The build up of unfinished mental and emotional business can lead to and fuel chronic anxiety, fear, confusion, emptiness and unhappiness through all of our life. 
Besides the Inner Child / adolescent part, we have many other selves which are trying to be heard and take control, without us really hearing the voices until we make an effort to do so.

Denial of the Inner Child and the co-dependent self are particularly common among children and adults who grew up in troubled or dysfunctional families.

This is where chronic physical mental illness, rigidity, frigidity or lack of nurturing is common.
Through Inner Child Work, it’s the easiest thing in the world to turn our feelings inwards and connect directly with that part of us that can offer comfort and support. 
This is called self-nurturing or re-parenting which allows us to reclaim that wounded child.  We can provide for ourselves all the love and support and positive regard we never had and grow up again. 
It is not the past as such that effects us – it is our images of it.


This process to discover and heal our Inner Child can be quite astounding. 


many people start their own journals, which begins their inner journey allowing them subsequently to step forward into their future full of confidence, balanced and in control. Instead of reacting to people and events and sometimes making situations worse they can more easily step back and choose how they want to respond in a way that is more beneficial for all. 
For many people, the Inner Child begins to say things that they have wanted to say `forever`. 

Through guidance, understanding and love we can learn to know how to form healthy and loving relationships and to love ourselves. 

"it is never to late to have a happy childhood". 

Examples of some of the parts of the Child you might find inside are:

The Abandoned Child

This child part that has been left in some way through divorce or adoption or  just left because the parents were kept busy working. This part is always fearful that it will be abandoned again and again. This part of the self is starving for extra attention and reassurance that it is safe and wanted. 
This self is very lonely. 

The Neglected Child

The child self that was always left alone without much nurturing and love. 
It doesn’t believe it is lovable or worthwhile. It finds it difficult to express and 
doesn’t know how to love. 
It is depressed and wants to hide and cry. 

The Playful Child

That self that is naturally playful, creative, spontaneous and fun, the loving child. This part longs to play. Many of us have forgotten how to do this and be free without guilt or anxiety because as adults we must be doing something that is `worthwhile`. 

The Spoiled Child

That part of us who wants what it wants and it wants it now, and if it doesn’t get what it wants, it throws a temper tantrum. 

The Fearful Child

This part has been overly criticised when young. Now it is anxious and in panic much of the time. It needs lots of encouragement and positive affirmations. 

The Disconnected Child

This Inner Child part which never learns to be close to anyone. It is isolated and dissociated. Intimacy feels alien and scary. Trust is a basic issue.

The Discounted Child

This is a part of the self that was ignored and treated as though it did not exist. It feels invisible. It doesn’t believe in itself and needs lots of love to assist and support it. 


These are all possibilities of the different Inner Child parts that might be inside us and they need support which will allow us to embark on a journey of profound healing. 
NOW is the best time to do it. 

We each have many different sides: the grown-up side, the professional side, the childlike side. However, the way we feel emotionally doesn't change. The frustration we felt as a two year old is the same frustration we feel at forty-- we just cover it up and express it differently. We may sink into feelings of hopelessness, overeat, drink too much or lash out at loved ones.

Your inner child hauls around a red wagon full of memories of every hurt, frustration, and pain you've ever experienced. He or she doesn't understand the incidents and doesn't know that time has passed; they just know they still hurt.

As adults, we tend to rely on rational thought to control these painful memories and emotions. However, emotions are far more powerful than logic.

The more we deny them, the stronger they get. If you try to suppress them, your inner brat will just yell louder.

Kids "act out" in two basic ways: they scream until they get attention or they withdraw and wait for help. Which is your style?

 Do you suddenly have outbursts of rage? Or do you lapse into depression?

 These may be signals that something needs attending to.

Find a picture of yourself, before the age of five. Carry it with you, get to know yourself at that age again. This is your inner child.

This is essentially who you still are, emotionally-speaking.

Learn to be a good parent to this child of yours. Pay attention to what they are telling you and allow them to express their needs.

Don't automatically tell your child to "be quiet" (suppressing your feelings);

don't just give in to their demands that they taken care of right this minute, either (letting your emotions control you).

Next time you find yourself "acting out", listen to what's going on inside of you, what your child is demanding.

 Start teaching your child (yourself) to express those feelings more appropriately and to wait for the time when that can be done so.

A child must be taught that delayed gratification doesn't mean "never."

 If there's something your inner child wants (and they want it now), patiently tell them they will get it eventually.

When your inner child is demanding attention, literally say to yourself, "I know you're hurting. I have something else to attend to now, but I will deal with you in just a little while."

This sends a message that you aren't ignoring them, but that the adult is in charge. Just like a good parent.

Remember too, that your inner child is not always a problem child -- he or she is your source of playfulness, too. The more you comfort, nurture and allow this childlike part of yourself to come out and play, the more healthy self-love and self-esteem you'll experience

MEDITATION FOR LOVING AND HEALING THE INNER CHILD


 

 

This meditation needs time and quiet to be done properly, you can have a friend talk you through this or tape it for yourself to do alone.

Take three deep/cleansing breaths.
Feel your body release all tensions, from the feet, to the calves, thighs, hips, up and through to the chest, throat, head and face, remove all tension from your fingers, hands, lower and upper arms.

Having released all tension from your entire body, take a further three deep/cleansing breaths.
Take yourself to a place that is calming for you, a place where you feel free and able to express yourself, a beach, a forest, valley or mountain, but it must be 'your' special place.

Ask for your Inner Child to come to you at this quiet/loving place.
See the child walking towards you from a small distance away, observe him/her as they come closer, start your understanding as you see her/him moving towards you, is this a buoyant, confident child with head and shoulders straight or is this child dragging the feet as if unsure. What kind of child has been hiding in you?

When the child gets within a few metres of you, fill your heart with love for the "little you" and send that love from your heart to the childs heart, send it like it was coming from a lazer (heart) gun. Notice what happens when the child is "shot" with this love, is there a difference? Do you notice more trust, more acceptance of this adult that he/she is unsure of?

After you have made your observations, surround yourself and the Inner Child in two separate loving coccoons of pink light (for some the colour may be pure white, go with whatever loving colour appears, don't deliberately try to change the colour, just let it happen). Look at your child and hold your arms out to him/her and see her/him move towards you with their arms also outstretched, hug your child for as long as you need.

When you have gained this connection, take your child to where you can be comfortable in your inner sanctum, perhaps you will sit on a seat together or walk along hand in hand, however, you must be touching in some way, (children feel comforted when a big, strong, loving adult can hold them in some way).

Let the child talk, let him/her cry, rant, rave, even scream, if it is needed. (Children have funny ways of expressing their pain sometimes).


Whatever your child tells you, be loving and compassionate, know that these decisions and observations were made at a time in your life when you didn't have the benefit of experience. If there are questions asked of you that you haven't worked out yet, admit this to the child and promise to return when the answer is made available to you.

Spend as much time as you need with your Inner Child and when you are ready to come back, kiss or hug your child, know that you are now one and will be together, know that your child will come out in you at times in your life when childish happiness is needed. Take three cleansing breaths and return to your meditation place. Immediately write as much down as you can remember for you are then able to refer back to it later.

(This meditation can be emotionally draining for both of you, however, that's what evolving is all about isn't it, getting under all that muck and finding the "real you.")